Skip to main content

Farts (Jeanne)

I have so many mom stories to write! I jotted a note this past week - "M - farts" because I was cracking open a hard boiled egg. Suddenly, I could just hear her saying "Mmmm, good fart material." She would say this about broccoli, boiled eggs, onions, etc. Her farts were prodigious! My dad used to joke that he should "bottle them and sell them to the military" to use as a deadly weapon.

She told me (after she retired from teaching) that she would pass gas in her classroom, then move to a different place in the room. As third graders would exclaim "Ew!" and try to figure out the culprit, she would feign innocence. Oh my! She had the gift of making us laugh. Those poor students!

Comments

  1. I remember sitting on the hump in the car when she'd let one fly, and Tom & Ann would be frantically rolling down the windows to stick their heads out to breathe but I was stuck!

    She could end WW3 if the combatants ever got a whiff - and dad offering her "torching paper" to wipe with. Also remember car rides where (if it was hilly) saying uppity up up up & downdity down down down. Lotta car trips!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Dad Story: Memories Lost (Jeanne)

It has been two years since my dad died. (Today is 1.22.2018. He died on 1.21.2016.) In getting rid of scraps of paper in my life (de-cluttering; I'm not yet ready for Swedish Death Cleaning!), I found an old receipt with some notes on it. "broken hand" "Dr. Dumont" "St. Joseph nuns" "Campbellton" Google brought me here: St. Joseph Hospital - http://www.rhsj.org/en/former-apostolic-sites_382_-21.php Religieuses Hospitalieres de Saint-Joseph I can't find information on Dr. Dumont (not that I tried that hard . . . ) but here's what I remember of that conversation with my dad over two years ago (I don't have the best memory!). He was talking about bequests after my mom died. He wanted to send money to places that were meaningful to him - the convent where his sister, Sister Beatrice, served, for example. He also mentioned Dr. Dumont, who had fixed his "broken hand" when he was a kid. He said they couldn'...

Gum and Thriftiness and Pronunciation and Honesty (Jeanne)

Eileen was a very thrifty gal. She bought CareFree sugarless gum and would willingly share it. A half piece at a time. Seriously! Since gum loses its flavor relatively quickly, she thought it was wasteful to take an entire piece, no matter how long you would chew it. So she would tear the piece in half and hand it out as though it were a special treat. Even Jenifer remembers this about her!  When her grandson Morgan was preschool age, he pronounced the word "Num." Grandma Eileen said, "Gum. G - g - g - g - gum. With a hard G. You say it." And Morgan said, "G - g - g - g - num!" It was hilarious! He wasn't doing it to be a stinker; he just had trouble with the word. But she kept trying! When Jeanne was five-ish years old, Eileen said "No" at the grocery store to buying her a pack of gum for herself. Jeanne took one and put all five sticks in her mouth while on the car ride home. Since she was dumb, the wrappers were all there in the bac...

Christmas and Easter Memories (Jeanne)

Eileen always had us set up the manger scene at Christmas time with all the figures except baby Jesus. He was usually on her dresser in the bedroom, awaiting Christmas morning. When we were kids, she would allow us to put in a piece of straw each time we did a chore, or something kind, or generally had a positive attitude. I remember loving to "get" to put straw in the creche and kept busy with different jobs around the house to earn the privilege. On Christmas morning, we would make a procession throughout the house. I got to be in front since I was the youngest. (In later years, it was one of the grandchildren in front.) We sang "Silent Night" and held candles as we walked to get the baby Jesus and bring him to the manger. During Lent, she would cut a branch from the lilac bushes and "plant" it in dirt in a vase that Louise still has - green and antique-looking. She would hang purple colored empty eggs from the branches. They had the symbols of the c...