Mom was frustrated with me (Tom) for Lord knows what. She was trying not to swear, but she said "You big ass!" I took it and changed my name to Ubigass Somers for a while, which she did not appreciate. People do not like to have their words turned against them. One time, Christine, Samantha, and I went down to Florida to spend time with mom and dad. Mom was trying to be the good hostess and kept apologizing for the temperature - that it was so cold out. We were coming from Minnesota in the winter, and even though the wind was blowing it felt like 70 degrees. When the wind stopped blowing, it was hot. The girls wanted to go swimming. Mom said, "Make sure they put some shit on so they don't get burnt." (She intended "sunscreen" with that.) I went along with it and said, "Girls, make sure you put some shit on so you don't get burnt." "Yes, Dad.We'll put some shit on." While driving to Canada, our route took us past "La...