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POETS Club (Jeanne)

When Jeanne was a kid (10-16 years old?), she heard her mom talking about meeting with her POETS Club after school. Wow! How sophisticated and cultured. These women were going to sit around and talk about poetry. No . . . Jeanne was shocked to find out that it was an acronym for Piss On Everything - Tomorrow's Saturday (POETS). As an adult (and an educator), I "get" it. But as a kid I just remember that transition from being impressed to being shocked. Funny.

Positive Notes (Jeanne)

My mom was so good about encouraging us. She would get mad, too, but she was definitely a nurturer. I don't know what this was connected to, but there are notes like this all over the place. I love the sight of her handwriting and the simple signature. (M is for Mother.)

from Ann a memory (Ann)

We would give her 3 kisses on her forehead and she would light up and say “I like that the best.”  This was when she had dementia. Mother was very protective during that time.  She would say something to the effect of "if they give you a bad time, I'm going to talk to them."

Mom miscellany (Jeanne)

She used to always have a half-stick of Carefree sugarless gum. She would share, but you could only have a half-stick (torn in half). She was thrifty and knew that when it lost its flavor, we would spit it out. I don't really remember when she stopped chewing Carefree, but I vividly remember what a huge part of my childhood it was. She had such a sweet tooth! She loved desserts and treats so much. When we had fruit that was tart, she wanted to add sugar to it. She and Louie were so different that way! Louie loves tart fruit. When Stacie started bringing her homemade desserts to family gatherings, my mom's face would light up. Yum for desserts! She was more than willing to try weird foods (and expected us to give them a try, too). The beef tongue was disgusting! It looked gross (like a gigantic tongue) and tasted nasty. It was really hard to chew, too. She also made a pie one time and said, "Try it. It's apple." It didn't look like apple and she was being t...

Where to start? (Jeanne)

I can't believe it's been over a year since I've written anything about my mom. In some ways, it's "same old, same old" with my parents. And yet, I have seen my mom getting weaker and weaker. I took her to two doctor appointments yesterday. She's down to 118 pounds. She struggles with so many things. I am going to focus on the positives. She loves being kissed. Louise and I especially give her lots of little kisses on her forehead. She keeps saying "I love my family. All my children are wonderful." She loves to hear, "I love you." She sings with me - the "I love you forever" song from the Robert Munsch book and "Jesus Loves Me." She likes sweets still and is happy when people bring her treats. I don't know how long we'll have my mom around, so I'm trying to enjoy the time I have with her while I can.

Nightmares (Jeanne and Ann)

So it's been hard to see my mom's memory fading. She often mixes true events of the past with things she's heard on the radio or on tv or in conversations. She gets upset with anything even remotely negative and seems to have a lot of fears. When I came in this morning, she told me about a nightmare she had had. (Written below as closely as I can remember it.) "I had a nightmare that Mary Lou Jargens / Mejari (?) called me and said that if I told anyone that she and I had worked together at the Childcare Center, she would get her husband and sue me for defamation." Later, she told it as NANCY Lou saying, "If you don't stop calling me . . . we'll sue you for harassment." "I hung up on her." It makes me sad that my mom's thoughts so often turn to negative things . . . she gets very upset about any meanness, violence, illness, etc. But it also makes me wonder about this person. And is this from when she worked at the daycare cent...

Bathing (Jeanne)

We had something of a battle today, with Eileen insisting that she did not want or need to take a bath today. Last week, she called me a "clean freak" and I told her that getting clean and shampooing her hair once a week did NOT qualify for clean freak status. She also told me today that Araceli will give her a bath as soon as she gets back to Minnesota . . . Thursday. I asked if she had told Araceli that I've been giving her a bath each week while Araceli has been gone. My mother didn't remember that I have been doing this. So I told her that if she can't remember it, the baths can't have traumatized her very much. Still, she ranted and raved against me making her do this. I think her real issue is having someone else tell her what to do. At least now, she is clean and I've clipped her toenails. Fun.